Timeline Rant

So this is the first all-out rant that I've posted. After getting a bit of guff from the online crowd about my invitation and RSVP dates, I feel the need to blow off a little steam. While my fiancee, my family and my fiancee's family don't seem to have a problem with how early I've put everything, everyone else is quick to jump on the impulsive planning side of the bandwagon.

To start off, I'm a planner. I like to know way in advance of anything that I'll need to travel to that takes more than a few hours to drive to and don't really like to put the rest of my life in the back seat when some event pops up with only a few weeks notice beforehand. This makes it easier for me to ask for time off from my boss without having to fight anyone for time off, save up for the costs of traveling, and plan on what I'll need for the time on the road. I don't make much so the saving up portion is crucial to me.

With that being said, I'm trying to send the invitations out for our August wedding before the end of February. My reasoning is that because I won't be sending out save the dates (which are a new trend) and because the mail can take up to a week to go from west to east coast that this would be beneficial to anyone who knows that they're already going. I've also been getting people practically chomping at the bit for this information and don't want to spend the extra money on save the dates when so many people before this fad have made due without.

So the criticisms with that are that people might lose them, that this is too much of an advance notice for most people, and I'll get endless calls from those who loose them about RSVPing and asking for information that was included in the invite. I say balderdash to all of that and they're adults, not children. If this is important to them then they won't lose the invitation and will be responsible adults about the whole situation. Those that lost the invitation probably were not going to attend anyways.

Now here's the kicker and where most of the heat comes from: the RSVPs. I've been debating a little with myself about how early is too early for people to know that they're going to be traveling cross-country for a formal event. Estimating that people could be throwing the RSVPs in the mail up to two weeks late, the mail itself can take up to a week to get to me, favors and other online ordered things take about a month to order and get to me, and that we're driving 19+hrs down to the venue with all the favors, doo-dads and what-nots for the wedding I figure asking for an RSVP somewhere in April is fair especially when we're videostreaming the ceremony for those that can't come.

So let's take the criticisms one at a time.

1) No one will know that far in advance what they'll be doing, if they'll have a job or the money to do this.
Uh, yes they will. This is in the summer when most people take time off for vacationing and I haven't known any adult that hasn't asked for vacation time under 4 months away with this much of an advanced notice. True they could lose their job, have someone get seriously ill, break a leg or something of that nature but a giant asteroid could also collide with the earth or terrorists could nuke the entire eastern seaboard too. What I'm saying is any adult who has sat down to see if this is possible should know by then. If it turns out they RSVPed with a yes and suddenly had something happen to them that makes them unable to attend, then they'll call to cancel and watch the stream; no harm, no foul. If they said no and can now attend, they'll most likely just watch the stream because it's rude to unexpectedly show up to a formal event when you said you weren't going to be there.

2) Airline prices that far out are more expensive than 2 weeks away from the date.
This is a little bit true, but this also comes from people who have just read the articles out there about when to book your flights instead of watching them yourself. I do and have watched the airline ticket prices and there is a bit of a lull somewhere around the 4-5 month period (which is a little bit more expensive than 8-months before the flight) before they spike up once again. True, you could try your luck at getting a flight 2 weeks beforehand, but that's on a space available basis only and you could be s.o.l. for a flight with so many others trying to do the same during a peak time of the year. As a side note, when trying this experiment don't forget to delete the tracking cookies in your web browser that the travel sites and airline pages leave there or else the prices will rise anyways.

3) People will lose the invitation and RSVP.
Like I said before, balderdash; they're adults, not children. If this is important to them then they won't lose the invitation and will be responsible adults about the whole situation. Those that lost the invitation probably weren't going to attend anyways. Anyone who can't find their RSVP can always call. If they need another copy of the inserts it's easy enough for me to just print them off again and mail it it to them but without much of the fun stuff that was in the original invitation that they so kindly lost.


I think the main problem is that most people are assuming that adults nowadays need to be walked through everything and treated like forgetful little children. Sure it might be a lot to ask that people be the responsible adults that I know they're capable of being, but when have we gotten into this phase where we talk and treat everyone like children because we don't trust them to be adults? Furthermore, with an invite list of 126 people (with guests) as long as our parents, siblings, and grandparents make it there we'll be fine; everyone else is just a bonus.