MIA

Big bad rant that has been sitting in my inbox for a month and a half. I've been hesitant to post this, let alone think about this since it makes me sad and incredibly angry as well. My fiancee knows about this situation, and also thinks it's bs.

First a little background. My younger sister has been dating this guy off and on for a few years and currently they're on... and she's pregnant. They are not married currently, but they do plan on marrying after the baby is born so the state can pay for the birth and medical items for her and the baby. In addition, he's black and my family is white. While this shouldn't matter, my dad is a semi-closet racist and gets angry, non-talkative and downright mean whenever she and her boyfriend come around to my parent's house. I have not seen this interaction, but this is because I live on the west coast while they live near Philly and only have hearsay to go on; however I have seen how my dad's mood stiffens and changes around anyone who isn't white.

Oh, it gets better from here. A month or two ago my little sis and her boyfriend got into a car accident and all involved parties were able to walk away from the crash with all of the air bags deployed and my sis's car totaled. Her boyfriend was driving but the lady that hit their car ran the light so this was in no way his fault. Unfortunately my dad is a jerk and this doesn't help his racism and misguided unpleasantness towards this poor guy.

My involvement with this is that my "dad" e-mails me back in early June and says he's deciding that he will not be coming to our wedding. His reasoning is that he "will not put [him]self in the same room with the person who knocked up but will not marry [my] sister." His words, verbatim. First reaction was that I don't have to tell him that I didn't want anyone walking me down the aisle, second was how dare he miss out on our wedding because of something so petty. My little sister and I suspect that the real reason he's not coming is because she's dating a black man, and I invited him without a second thought or hesitation.

I had something all typed up, nice, pretty, and eloquent that basically told him he was a f'ing child, without all the cussing I thought of when I first read his e-mail. There was some crying, ranting, pacing, and throwing of papers while I let it all out in front of my fiancee. He was a dear, let me throw my temper-tantrum and then helped me re-work the e-mail I had drafted in a fit of rage.

The e-mail still resides in my inbox, but I'm leaning towards not sending it his way. My thoughts are that he's giving me a free pass not to talk to him, and I'm sort of fine with that even though I want to chastise and smack him upside his head. The reasoning behind not talking to him is because he cowardly sent me an e-mail instead of calling me and is missing out on his eldest daughter's wedding who is the first to get married out of his children; this is all inexcusable to me. True, I think this is a little bratty, but I feel justified by not responding.