Big bad rant that has been sitting in my inbox for a month and a half. I've been hesitant to post this, let alone think about this since it makes me sad and incredibly angry as well. My fiancee knows about this situation, and also thinks it's bs.
First a little background. My younger sister has been dating this guy off and on for a few years and currently they're on... and she's pregnant. They are not married currently, but they do plan on marrying after the baby is born so the state can pay for the birth and medical items for her and the baby. In addition, he's black and my family is white. While this shouldn't matter, my dad is a semi-closet racist and gets angry, non-talkative and downright mean whenever she and her boyfriend come around to my parent's house. I have not seen this interaction, but this is because I live on the west coast while they live near Philly and only have hearsay to go on; however I have seen how my dad's mood stiffens and changes around anyone who isn't white.
Oh, it gets better from here. A month or two ago my little sis and her boyfriend got into a car accident and all involved parties were able to walk away from the crash with all of the air bags deployed and my sis's car totaled. Her boyfriend was driving but the lady that hit their car ran the light so this was in no way his fault. Unfortunately my dad is a jerk and this doesn't help his racism and misguided unpleasantness towards this poor guy.
My involvement with this is that my "dad" e-mails me back in early June and says he's deciding that he will not be coming to our wedding. His reasoning is that he "will not put [him]self in the same room with the person who knocked up but will not marry [my] sister." His words, verbatim. First reaction was that I don't have to tell him that I didn't want anyone walking me down the aisle, second was how dare he miss out on our wedding because of something so petty. My little sister and I suspect that the real reason he's not coming is because she's dating a black man, and I invited him without a second thought or hesitation.
I had something all typed up, nice, pretty, and eloquent that basically told him he was a f'ing child, without all the cussing I thought of when I first read his e-mail. There was some crying, ranting, pacing, and throwing of papers while I let it all out in front of my fiancee. He was a dear, let me throw my temper-tantrum and then helped me re-work the e-mail I had drafted in a fit of rage.
The e-mail still resides in my inbox, but I'm leaning towards not sending it his way. My thoughts are that he's giving me a free pass not to talk to him, and I'm sort of fine with that even though I want to chastise and smack him upside his head. The reasoning behind not talking to him is because he cowardly sent me an e-mail instead of calling me and is missing out on his eldest daughter's wedding who is the first to get married out of his children; this is all inexcusable to me. True, I think this is a little bratty, but I feel justified by not responding.
Showing posts with label Rants. Show all posts
Showing posts with label Rants. Show all posts
Tuesday, July 20, 2010
Wednesday, May 19, 2010
Bad GS Cookies!
Alright, so it's not just the Girl Scout cookies, but probably also the rum and Pepsi drinks I've been consuming that has contributed to my excess "happy" weight. Admittedly, I probably could have worked on getting in shape, eating better, having smaller meals and yadda yadda yadda, but somewhere I fell into a zone where all that didn't matter so much and I didn't really care. All of this leads up to my first fitting where I was rather embarrassed to find that my size 8 dress no longer fits as well as it did in March '09 and might need to be let out quite a bit to where I probably should have invested in a size 10 instead.
So even though I hated the idea of crash dieting, it sounds exactly what I'll be close to doing. Granted there will be no starving myself for the sake of being skinny, but more like I'll be cutting back on the size of my meals, eating apples instead of potato chips and whatnot to get back down from the 170 that I'm at now to the 150 I was then. The horrible part is that in all my stubbornness I'll probably try to bull-head my way into working out my body to force it into the desired shape. This does not mean that I'll be working out until I break or tear something, just that I'll most likely be working out until I'm an exhausted mess.
Hopefully with recognizing that I need some drastic changes to squeeze into my current dress this will get me to finally grab a hold of the mind set that I should have been in since January. The only problem with all of this is that I will severely miss my Captain.
So even though I hated the idea of crash dieting, it sounds exactly what I'll be close to doing. Granted there will be no starving myself for the sake of being skinny, but more like I'll be cutting back on the size of my meals, eating apples instead of potato chips and whatnot to get back down from the 170 that I'm at now to the 150 I was then. The horrible part is that in all my stubbornness I'll probably try to bull-head my way into working out my body to force it into the desired shape. This does not mean that I'll be working out until I break or tear something, just that I'll most likely be working out until I'm an exhausted mess.
Hopefully with recognizing that I need some drastic changes to squeeze into my current dress this will get me to finally grab a hold of the mind set that I should have been in since January. The only problem with all of this is that I will severely miss my Captain.
Wednesday, May 12, 2010
Backlog
My apologies to anyone who has been following this blog. For the past few months I've been concentrating on classes, work and planning a wedding and all of it reached a point of ultimate stress about a few weeks ago and I'm just now getting back into my stride. Eventually I'll get caught up on updating everything, but that will probably take a bit of time because I'm still taking classes through the summer.
As a spoiler alert I'm working on slimming down, I've turned in my dress to David's Bridal for it to be altered, bid on a dress to wear for going out on the town on our wedding night, set up a hair trial appointment, thought about centerpieces, flowers and other such stuff to be revealed in future blogs. Also, I love and hate Google but then again it's probably the retailers fault for mislabeling their products for search-ability, but then again Google doesn't list everything from lowest to highest price even when you tell it to do so.
That's all for now, I'll try to catch up a bit more later.
As a spoiler alert I'm working on slimming down, I've turned in my dress to David's Bridal for it to be altered, bid on a dress to wear for going out on the town on our wedding night, set up a hair trial appointment, thought about centerpieces, flowers and other such stuff to be revealed in future blogs. Also, I love and hate Google but then again it's probably the retailers fault for mislabeling their products for search-ability, but then again Google doesn't list everything from lowest to highest price even when you tell it to do so.
That's all for now, I'll try to catch up a bit more later.
Saturday, January 16, 2010
Timeline Rant
So this is the first all-out rant that I've posted. After getting a bit of guff from the online crowd about my invitation and RSVP dates, I feel the need to blow off a little steam. While my fiancee, my family and my fiancee's family don't seem to have a problem with how early I've put everything, everyone else is quick to jump on the impulsive planning side of the bandwagon.
To start off, I'm a planner. I like to know way in advance of anything that I'll need to travel to that takes more than a few hours to drive to and don't really like to put the rest of my life in the back seat when some event pops up with only a few weeks notice beforehand. This makes it easier for me to ask for time off from my boss without having to fight anyone for time off, save up for the costs of traveling, and plan on what I'll need for the time on the road. I don't make much so the saving up portion is crucial to me.
With that being said, I'm trying to send the invitations out for our August wedding before the end of February. My reasoning is that because I won't be sending out save the dates (which are a new trend) and because the mail can take up to a week to go from west to east coast that this would be beneficial to anyone who knows that they're already going. I've also been getting people practically chomping at the bit for this information and don't want to spend the extra money on save the dates when so many people before this fad have made due without.
So the criticisms with that are that people might lose them, that this is too much of an advance notice for most people, and I'll get endless calls from those who loose them about RSVPing and asking for information that was included in the invite. I say balderdash to all of that and they're adults, not children. If this is important to them then they won't lose the invitation and will be responsible adults about the whole situation. Those that lost the invitation probably were not going to attend anyways.
Now here's the kicker and where most of the heat comes from: the RSVPs. I've been debating a little with myself about how early is too early for people to know that they're going to be traveling cross-country for a formal event. Estimating that people could be throwing the RSVPs in the mail up to two weeks late, the mail itself can take up to a week to get to me, favors and other online ordered things take about a month to order and get to me, and that we're driving 19+hrs down to the venue with all the favors, doo-dads and what-nots for the wedding I figure asking for an RSVP somewhere in April is fair especially when we're videostreaming the ceremony for those that can't come.
So let's take the criticisms one at a time.
1) No one will know that far in advance what they'll be doing, if they'll have a job or the money to do this.
Uh, yes they will. This is in the summer when most people take time off for vacationing and I haven't known any adult that hasn't asked for vacation time under 4 months away with this much of an advanced notice. True they could lose their job, have someone get seriously ill, break a leg or something of that nature but a giant asteroid could also collide with the earth or terrorists could nuke the entire eastern seaboard too. What I'm saying is any adult who has sat down to see if this is possible should know by then. If it turns out they RSVPed with a yes and suddenly had something happen to them that makes them unable to attend, then they'll call to cancel and watch the stream; no harm, no foul. If they said no and can now attend, they'll most likely just watch the stream because it's rude to unexpectedly show up to a formal event when you said you weren't going to be there.
2) Airline prices that far out are more expensive than 2 weeks away from the date.
This is a little bit true, but this also comes from people who have just read the articles out there about when to book your flights instead of watching them yourself. I do and have watched the airline ticket prices and there is a bit of a lull somewhere around the 4-5 month period (which is a little bit more expensive than 8-months before the flight) before they spike up once again. True, you could try your luck at getting a flight 2 weeks beforehand, but that's on a space available basis only and you could be s.o.l. for a flight with so many others trying to do the same during a peak time of the year. As a side note, when trying this experiment don't forget to delete the tracking cookies in your web browser that the travel sites and airline pages leave there or else the prices will rise anyways.
3) People will lose the invitation and RSVP.
Like I said before, balderdash; they're adults, not children. If this is important to them then they won't lose the invitation and will be responsible adults about the whole situation. Those that lost the invitation probably weren't going to attend anyways. Anyone who can't find their RSVP can always call. If they need another copy of the inserts it's easy enough for me to just print them off again and mail it it to them but without much of the fun stuff that was in the original invitation that they so kindly lost.
I think the main problem is that most people are assuming that adults nowadays need to be walked through everything and treated like forgetful little children. Sure it might be a lot to ask that people be the responsible adults that I know they're capable of being, but when have we gotten into this phase where we talk and treat everyone like children because we don't trust them to be adults? Furthermore, with an invite list of 126 people (with guests) as long as our parents, siblings, and grandparents make it there we'll be fine; everyone else is just a bonus.
To start off, I'm a planner. I like to know way in advance of anything that I'll need to travel to that takes more than a few hours to drive to and don't really like to put the rest of my life in the back seat when some event pops up with only a few weeks notice beforehand. This makes it easier for me to ask for time off from my boss without having to fight anyone for time off, save up for the costs of traveling, and plan on what I'll need for the time on the road. I don't make much so the saving up portion is crucial to me.
With that being said, I'm trying to send the invitations out for our August wedding before the end of February. My reasoning is that because I won't be sending out save the dates (which are a new trend) and because the mail can take up to a week to go from west to east coast that this would be beneficial to anyone who knows that they're already going. I've also been getting people practically chomping at the bit for this information and don't want to spend the extra money on save the dates when so many people before this fad have made due without.
So the criticisms with that are that people might lose them, that this is too much of an advance notice for most people, and I'll get endless calls from those who loose them about RSVPing and asking for information that was included in the invite. I say balderdash to all of that and they're adults, not children. If this is important to them then they won't lose the invitation and will be responsible adults about the whole situation. Those that lost the invitation probably were not going to attend anyways.
Now here's the kicker and where most of the heat comes from: the RSVPs. I've been debating a little with myself about how early is too early for people to know that they're going to be traveling cross-country for a formal event. Estimating that people could be throwing the RSVPs in the mail up to two weeks late, the mail itself can take up to a week to get to me, favors and other online ordered things take about a month to order and get to me, and that we're driving 19+hrs down to the venue with all the favors, doo-dads and what-nots for the wedding I figure asking for an RSVP somewhere in April is fair especially when we're videostreaming the ceremony for those that can't come.
So let's take the criticisms one at a time.
1) No one will know that far in advance what they'll be doing, if they'll have a job or the money to do this.
Uh, yes they will. This is in the summer when most people take time off for vacationing and I haven't known any adult that hasn't asked for vacation time under 4 months away with this much of an advanced notice. True they could lose their job, have someone get seriously ill, break a leg or something of that nature but a giant asteroid could also collide with the earth or terrorists could nuke the entire eastern seaboard too. What I'm saying is any adult who has sat down to see if this is possible should know by then. If it turns out they RSVPed with a yes and suddenly had something happen to them that makes them unable to attend, then they'll call to cancel and watch the stream; no harm, no foul. If they said no and can now attend, they'll most likely just watch the stream because it's rude to unexpectedly show up to a formal event when you said you weren't going to be there.
2) Airline prices that far out are more expensive than 2 weeks away from the date.
This is a little bit true, but this also comes from people who have just read the articles out there about when to book your flights instead of watching them yourself. I do and have watched the airline ticket prices and there is a bit of a lull somewhere around the 4-5 month period (which is a little bit more expensive than 8-months before the flight) before they spike up once again. True, you could try your luck at getting a flight 2 weeks beforehand, but that's on a space available basis only and you could be s.o.l. for a flight with so many others trying to do the same during a peak time of the year. As a side note, when trying this experiment don't forget to delete the tracking cookies in your web browser that the travel sites and airline pages leave there or else the prices will rise anyways.
3) People will lose the invitation and RSVP.
Like I said before, balderdash; they're adults, not children. If this is important to them then they won't lose the invitation and will be responsible adults about the whole situation. Those that lost the invitation probably weren't going to attend anyways. Anyone who can't find their RSVP can always call. If they need another copy of the inserts it's easy enough for me to just print them off again and mail it it to them but without much of the fun stuff that was in the original invitation that they so kindly lost.
I think the main problem is that most people are assuming that adults nowadays need to be walked through everything and treated like forgetful little children. Sure it might be a lot to ask that people be the responsible adults that I know they're capable of being, but when have we gotten into this phase where we talk and treat everyone like children because we don't trust them to be adults? Furthermore, with an invite list of 126 people (with guests) as long as our parents, siblings, and grandparents make it there we'll be fine; everyone else is just a bonus.
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